Napster - The Wanker Factor
Just as you'll find an undesirable element present
on other places on the web, you'll find plenty of would-be-wankers
waiting on Napster.
If a person is so inclined there are all
sorts of things that can be done to stir
I strongly advise that you resist the temptation,
however. Both as a courtesy to the rest of the Napster
community and for your own
going to sue you for intentionally mislabeling an MP3 file or interrupting
a transfer - but they just might find other ways to get back at you.
One common nasty trick:
wait until somebody
with a slow connection has almost finished
downloading a file and then bump them
off at the last second. Then giggle. Wait patiently as your new friend
tries to run the download again and repeat bumping maneuver. Giggle
what? It's official: You have absolutely no life.
Another move people seem to enjoy: Create bogus
MP3 files containing a recording of yourself
singing classic rock tunes or rapping
accompanied by a friend strumming an out of tune
guitar with the sound of your bong bubbling
in the background. Label the track as a rare
studio cut/live recordings/guest appearance
featuring an artist you think people will like.
Spread the word on the
chat rooms and forums. Guess
what? You really are a wanker.
with a badge
A particularly stupid thing to do. Creating a new
napster account with a user name calculated
to create fear among your fellow users - like say, Special Agent
Bronsonburger - may seem like a fun
thing to do at four o'clock in the morning after you've had a few too
many, but in the long run it will only cause you trouble when the real
special agent Bronsonburger finds out what you've been up to and comes
after you with a zap stick and plastic handcuffs.
the other hand it may be worth it to you: if only for the few fleeting
minutes of pleasure you derive from imagining the expressions on other
users' faces when they see special agent Bronsonburger show up in their
The other problem with your little scheme: nobody is going to fall for
is as Wanker does
most antisocial trick in the wanker's arsenal. Take advantage of the various
factional and sectarian rivalries common among music fans to sow confusion
and spread hatred by mislabeling files in imaginative and devious ways.
Take heavy Metal songs and aim them at smooth jazz and easy listening
fans. Give classic rock fans a taste of the beasties. Play off the East
Coast-West coast rivalry in rap.
Start your own Barry Manilow resurgence. The possibilities are endless.
Your Wanker cred will grow with each bogus file you add to the system.
The only drawback to the imaginative little games you're playing?
a wanker for life. And everybody is going to know it.
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